Laowai

Beatrice the Beast has arrived. Our quiet, practically sleeps through the night little angel has realized that it can be fun to torture Mommy and Daddy as well. I can see how this would be fun and am not so old as to have forgotten how much I too enjoyed this art but it is bad form to do it so intensely on the night before Daddy has a boring client meeting where he can’t be seen to fall asleep. I’m actually looking forward to traveling my first time since she came. I always sleep well but often work well into the night when I travel. This time, I know that the night will be short but damn it, nothing will interrupt it. No diaper changes, no baby poop, no crying or sudden questions in the night if she is breathing and when was the last time I heard her breath and is she with Kathy or in the bassinette or is her diaper ready to be changed or am I a horrible father about to do my baby irreparable harm??? Well, the flight was just delayed a couple of hours and our meeting is an 8 am meeting so you know, it’s not going to be all that wonderful… But it is California and they just announced that it is currently 72 degrees and I’ve got my running shoes and nothing can stop me from finally getting outside tomorrow morning.

This time and preparing meals for Kathy has allowed me to remember how much I enjoy cooking. I used to enjoy making meals and even in recent times occasionally would find the time on a Sunday to make something but the past week has been a good refresher on how much I love food and that when I spend the time, I can do pretty well for myself. Things will soon return to their hectic pace but it’s good to have a reminder that herb encrusted leg of lamb or poached salmon with tarragon cream sauce are not only available on a menu at 25 bucks a pop. That’s not to snub such white trash classics as the old friend tortilla tort or taco salad. I may have gone a little too far in loving myself with food (under the guise of taking care of Kathy and Bea…) by making a couple of pound batch of baked beans that I know Kathy will never eat. Ah, but they were pretty damn good…

So life is extremely different but maybe not so much. I still get out and play soccer. I still am finding time to go out on the roads with my bike and while I’ll never have enough time for my opera obsession even in the best of times, time for this is only metered but not gone forever. Kathy’s the one whose world has changed much more, at least for now. She must plan for hours to even take the BEAst out for a walk. While I project my feelings onto her and assume she must be mourning her loss, I don’t think she really is. In fact, there are times between the exhaustion when I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her happier. Maybe I’m a natural consultant (to be determined, I guess) but she seems to have this mother thing down pat. Even when she tortures us mercilessly, maybe Baby Bea isn’t so bad.