Laowai

I think a lot about how physical motherhood is. Not just the aches and pains from lifting a toddler all day long. But all the little moments of contact that happen throughout the day that make our connection so strong and powerful. Feeling her body tensing up and grabbing me tight with her little fist when she’s scared. Feeling her head resting on my shoulder and under my chin in that tired way. Feeling her wrapping her arms around my legs as she whines and and melts before lunch time. Feeling her grab me around the neck in a big toddler hug. Her curious poking of my nose or eyes or belly. Her outstretched arms first thing in the morning when I get her out of her crib. And my favorite, her special style of kiss – it’s more like a long slow head butt punctuated with a “pppfff” sound.

Just holding a whole person in your arms – the wiggles and snuggles – it’s so intimate. How will I ever be able to wean myself from this warm little bundle of energy?

To my mom: Thanks for giving so much! We can’t wait to see you soon and smother you with hugs and kisses.

Here’s a video of a new word Bea learned while we were on vacation.