Laowai

But, I can’t wear them because they dig into my heals and make them bleed after about a quarter mile of walking. I’ve had them since we lived in Midland. After I bought them I put them on and walked to Krogers. I almost didn’t make it back. I squirmed and flinched with each step. 

They simply don’t fit me.

And yet I keep them in my closet – sometimes I’ll forget how painful they are and I’ll put them on for a while. I have an irrational hope that they will somehow fit my feet this time. I pretend that what I’ve heard isn’t true – that your feet don’t actually get bigger after having a baby. In fact I try to convince myself that maybe my feet are bucking the trend and have shrunk after having a baby. I hold my breath as I put them on hoping that they will fit. Even after I’ve walked around in them and they obviously don’t fit, I try to find new ways to walk that will make them work.

Then the other day I noticed that they match these darling shoes that Jennifer handed down for Bea. And it broke my heart.

Sniff, sniff.