Laowai

Well she’s one month old today. I feel like we are on a big roller coaster filled with moments of misery and then moments of quiet joy or laughter. All I can manage right now is a list of things:

– Things like how nice people around here can be. I hauled myself and the girls to the other side of Zurich the other day and had two very nice encounters. The first was when we were waiting to get on the bus – I was trying to stuff some things in the pocket under the stroller when I noticed that the bus was coming – so I began to frantically stuff things in there so I could manage to get the stroller and a toddler loaded on the bus before it pulled away. Well an older lady was also waiting for the bus. She didn’t speak english but she managed to ask if I was getting on that bus that was coming down the road and I managed to say yes – or ya. She grabbed a few of the random things that were lying on the ground waiting to be stuffed into the stroller – a raincoat, a stuffed turtle and another toy of some sort. I was able to make it onto the bus and she gave me the stuff back when I had the stroller settled and I had taken a breath. Then later on the train a man sweetly showed a lot of interest in Claire – smiling and guessing her age and then wishing me all the best as he got off the train.

 

– We’ve traded one mode of transport for another. I’m still sad about having to sell my MINI but hopefully we can get lots of milage out of our new vehicle. I was treking across town the other day to get a used bike trailer – big enough for two kids and some groceries. And yes it seems that the new vehicle has about the same capacity as the last vehicle. 

 

– Bea has recently learned to think up rhyming words and today while I pushed her on a tire swing we discovered that Claire rhymes with lots of things. Brian likes to call her Claire Bear.

 

– Brian is gone most of this week so I am toughing it out. The worst moments are trying to help Bea into her pajamas and read her bedtime stories while holding a crying Claire. Or feeling so, so guilty that I have to constantly tell Bea to wait a minute whenever she asks for something. My hands are just so full. Or the reverse situation – when I have to let Claire cry her little eyes out while I do something that requires two hands like washing Bea’s hair.

– Also feeling guilty that just in time for Brian to come home from work I am feeling completely depleted and grumpy. By that time of day Bea’s little habits are grating on me. Claire’s crying is overwhelming me and the messiness of the house is driving me nuts. Sorry honey.

– The good moments are seeing Claire sleeping peacefully. Watching her stretch – arching her little back and showing her funny little turtle-like neck. Also, seeing Bea with new eyes and being so proud of all the grown-up things she can do. And watching Bea gently taking an interest in her sister. When she sweetly asks “where’s Cwaire” (that’s how she says Claire) after she looks around and doesn’t see her nearby. 

 

– I feel blessed but tired.

– Here’s our first calendar girl photo. Poor Claire did not enjoy it. Maybe we’ll try again tomorrow.