Laowai

SO – I have been meaning to write this post for four months. It’s kind of self-indulgent but it’s also a story that I want to remember. It’s the story – what I remember of it – of when Claire was born. It’s late again and I should be in bed now but I decided that tonight I will write it all down. I am determined to preserve as many memories for Claire as we did for Bea. So I’m just going to get the story down and then I can move on to working on Claire’s baby book and thinking about making a Christmas stocking for her. Read it if you want – it’s probably not well written or very interesting and the photos are not good. It’s really for Claire. I hope she will enjoy reading it later in her life.

 

– It was a Monday – I can’t remember what Bea and I did that morning but it was probably pretty low key since I was feeling so big and slow.

– Then in the afternoon we rode the train into Zurich for my weekly doctor appointment. Bea listened to your heartbeat with me and then my doctor checked me. She had been saying you were close to coming into this world for two or three weeks already. Every week I had been reporting my progress and making Daddy nervous as he juggled his work schedule to be no further than three hours away in the last weeks of my pregnancy. During this check up with my doctor she said I was four cm dilated. We talked about the fact that Grandma and Grandpa J were flying in the next morning and I wanted you to be born after they arrived. My doctor said I should go to the hospital the next morning but she was skeptical that you would even wait that long. She told me to get home and walk slowly and rest. So I called your Daddy and told him the news and then Bea and I got back on the train to go home.

– The rest of the afternoon I was antsy and anxious as I sat on the couch. Bea and I talked about Mommy going to the hospital soon and we talked about Grandma and Grandpa arriving the next morning. Two long anticipated events. We had intended to go to the airport to pick up Grandma and Grandpa. We had been living in Switzerland for about 3 months and I kept picturing how fun it would be to be reunited with them at the airport – but because of my doctor’s instructions it looked like that was not going to happen. The plans that I had for months daydreamed about while rubbing my hands over my belly were starting to come apart. Daddy would have to meet Grandma and Grandpa at the airport.

– In the early evening I started to feel that familiar tightening in my belly. I tried to ignore it but as the day went on I just had the feeling that you were on your way and that we would end up at the hospital that very night. I talked to Daddy on the phone a bunch – our plans seemed to be doing a 180 degree turn. I called our friend Julie – another expat who’s husband, Matt, worked with Daddy. Julie was all along going to be the one to stay with Bea if we needed to go to the hospital before Grandma and Grandpa arrived. Well, Julie had a job interview on Tuesday and would have to set out early in the morning so it wouldn’t work for her to watch Bea. Plan B (another expat wife) was out of town so we called Rebecca – again her husband worked with Daddy too. She could watch Bea overnight but she had to be a chaperone for her son’s daycare trip to the zoo the following morning.

– We himmed and hawed and I felt unsure of what to do. Grandma and Grandpa were in the air already and unreachable. We finally decided that I should get to the hospital and we should drop Bea at Rebecca’s place that evening rather than risk waiting and then have to go in the middle of the night. By the time we finally made a decision it was getting late. We scurried around packing bags and making phone calls and then headed out to the train station. It was a rainy night and we were moving slowly. Bea rode on Daddy’s shoulders carrying and umbrella – until we noticed that she was swaying and dozing off. So then Daddy carried her in his arms. We ended up on the 10:26 train out of Mannedorf. While we waited for the train I looked at Bea sleeping and thought about how these were the last moments of her being my baby. Our new baby sister was on the way.

– We got into Zurich and transfered to a tram and then we had a good 10 to 15 minute walk before we reached Rebecca’s. We must have looked like drowned rats because our hands were too full carrying bags and Bea to hold an umbrella. The rain seemed to get heavier and heavier. Rebecca had a little mattress ready for Bea to sleep on. I got out some favorite books for her and then it was time to kiss her good night and say good-bye. I was too tired to feel very emotional by this point. 

– Now daddy and I just had to get ourselves to the hospital – more walking and another tram ride. We finally arrived around ??:????. I took off my wet socks and got settled in the delivery room. The nurse checked me and I hadn’t progressed at all since my doctor appointment that afternoon. I thought sure that all that walking would have helped me along. But no. Not yet at least. So we tried to rest. And then contractions started to happen. I was excited that you were on your way. I let Daddy get a little bit of sleep until the nurse checked me again and I was dilated to seven cm.

 

– At this point Daddy and I really started to worry that you would be born right when Grandma and Grandpa needed to be picked up from the airport. We started to try to think of what we would do if that worst case scenario happened. I kept picturing Grandma and Grandpa looking sadly stranded in the airport. But since it was around two in the morning we couldn’t really call anyone to ask if they could pick up your grandparents. I kept looking at the big digital clock on the wall. When would you come? After I got an epidural my labor seemed to slow down. We waited and watched the contractions monitor while the minutes ticked by. I was given some pitocen to get things moving and no more epidural medicine. Then for a while things seemed to move quickly and slowly at the same time. You were very close to being born but then you seemed to get stuck and stall a little. The doctor wanted to get you out and Mommy and Daddy wanted you to come out too. I got more and more pitocin to make my contractions stronger. And I kept looking over to the clock on the wall. In the end when I finally pushed you out it was pretty intense because all the epidural had worn away. And then there you were – plopped onto my chest at 6:26 a.m. Daddy and I were silent. We gazed at you and glanced at each other. You cried and I noticed your round little chin. It was morning. Daddy stayed with us for about a half hour and then he was off to pick up Bea and go to the airport. The doctor offered to drive Daddy to Rebecca’s house. 

 

– Apparently Daddy looked pretty dazed when Grandma and Grandpa saw him at the airport. They were expecting me but they were greeted by their son-in-law who had not really slept all night. Grandma even thought he might be joking when Daddy said you had arrived. And he wouldn’t tell them your name because he wasn’t sure we had decided it was Claire.

– So everything worked out in the end and Grandma and Grandpa got to meet you right away. I was happy, happy, happy to have a healthy baby girl in my arms.

– It just would have been much easier if you had come one day later.

And now I’m off to bed because you will be wanting your middle of the night snack very soon.

Brian… do you have any edits or additions?